we all deserve little gold stars, actually
some things to remember when the well of empathy is running dryyyyyy
Despite twelve years of report cards to the contrary, I am Not always a conscientious angel or a pleasure to have in class. Sometimes I’m a real pill. Sometimes I think horrible, mean things or inadvertently put the teeeeeesiest of curses on someone who crossed me. Sometimes I heckle reality television contestants for no good reason except I’m a hater.1 Sometimes I feel like Everyone is Wrong and I Am Right. There is One Secret Right Answer to the Universe and I alone am privy to it.
During these (very rare) bouts of misanthropy2 I struggle to excavate a candy kernel of empathy from the dark & haunted catacombs of my heart.
It’s on these occasions I remember two Important Things that have—thankfully—remained at the forefront of my psyche and shepherded me through these uncharacteristic days.
The first is from “Streams” in Glennon Doyle’s book UNTAMED:
People often tell me my writing feels like a relief. What they feel next is the desire to respond to my offering by telling me their story… Eventually I opened a post office box and promised people that if they wrote down their stories, I’d read them all. Each week, letters poured in. Boxes of letters are piled up in my bedroom and office. I imagine I’ll be reading them until I’m ninety. A few times a week I put down my phone and turn off the news, snuggle up in bed, and read letters. It is always such a relief. Ah, yes. This is what people are like. We are so fucked up and so magical… If you want to stay human, read letters. When trying to understand humanity, seek out firsthand accounts… [I’ve] learned firsthand that folks are generally doing the best they can.
The second, Kacey Musgraves’s song SOMEBODY TO LOVE (Highly recommend listening if ur able, otherwise some lyrics below):
We're all good, but we ain't angels
We all sin, but we ain't devils
We're all pots and we're all kettles
But we can't see it in ourselves
We're all livin' 'til we're dyin'
We ain't cool, but man, we're tryin'
Thinkin' we'll be fixed by someone else
Just tryin' to hold it all together
We all wish our best was better
Just hopin' that forever's really real
We'll miss a dime to grab a nickel
Overcomplicate the simple
We're all little kids just looking for love
Yeah, don't we all just want somebody to love?
We are all squishy souls looking for validation and affection and encouragement. We are all grieving. We’re all sincerely trying our best to navigate life on a lil rock floating in outer space.
So I read Glennon, I sing Kacey. Books, Music, Repeat. And I’m no longer a grubby little goblin. I’m back to my True Form. Loving humans AND humanity. Yet another reason I’m deeply indebted to the artists and writers who share their souls and pour some of their own magical water into our empathy wells.
~Good witch of the north pink bubble blessings to all~
But never to sweet Joey Graziadei. Protect that conscientious angel AT ALL COSTS, American Broadcasting Company!!!!!!
i feel self conscious admitting on the internet that i sometimes can’t stand people . i do want to stress here i actually am a lovely person with regulated emotions , i have references who can verify and tell u about my homemade holiday greeting cards . also if ur reading these posts i promise i will NEVER put an accidental or intended curse on u
Just so.