I have two secret dating criteria. One is beyond absurd, most people will not find it applicable to their own lives so I cannot recommend it for general use, but I feel strongly that I can only fall in love with someone who would be a good guest star on Sesame Street. A friend described this as a filter for the “X” factor, in this case a readiness to embrace the unfamiliar, a marker of humility and creativity that would serve a partnership well. Really it’s to ensure that when I speak in a silly voice, I want someone to speak in a silly voice back. This theory was mostly impossible to convey until Brett Goldstein appeared on Sesame Street, out of his mind with enthusiasm to interact with puppets. He honored the production, he respected the legacy! He had fun! Suddenly it was not so hard to convince people that my Sesame Street Test was Actually Just Good Sense.
The second criteria is less goofy but just as good a rule of thumb: Does This Person Read Female Writers? Now, I don’t mean do they have a stack of Gloria Steinem, Betty Friedan, and bell hooks on their nightstand. I’m not asking for a masters degree in feminist literary criticism. I certainly don’t go sniffing around apartments with a checklist of titles. Rather, I’m trying to figure out if they read books by people who don’t look and live as they do (or aspire to). Do they search for different perspectives, are they curious about the interior lives of others?1 As I get older I’m learning that the people I like best are those who display this emotional inquisitiveness. I find that reading is one of the most effective ways to reconcile the singular mindset and the collective.
I was once at an event where everyone had to name their favorite book. Granted, it was a professional setting so perhaps there was some light posturing, but—I kid you not—at a table of fifteen everyone’s favorite book was either Outliers or Atomic Habits. Working for a publishing house at the time, this was acutely depressing to hear. It tracks that when I saw this tweet on Saturday I had a visceral reaction. YES EXACTLY, I screamed to no one. How upsetting, how absolutely deflating to morale that fiction is an afterthought to so many people, especially those hyper-focused on career. Alternatively, that so few people see the value in consuming it.
More than any other form of entertainment, fiction takes us outside of ourselves. Reading fiction makes our thinking more elastic, it intensifies our empathy. Article after article after article elucidates the personal benefits of reading fiction, so I won’t restate here. What I will stress is why we need to elevate theory of mind in both personal and business spheres.
Our society rewards self-centeredness. It’s no one person’s fault, many of our systems discourage altruistic action or place unfair burdens on the individual (like how walking ten blocks to compost is less desirable and therefore less urgent in snowy January). The trouble with these colorless books is that they propagate and praise this mindset. How can I become more successful, efficient, and valuable through personal efforts? What rewards can I reap by adhering to these rules for living and/or conducting business? It’s been my experience that people don’t actively seek ways to cause harm to others. We all want financial stability, a degree of influence, control. Without counterbalance, though, this view produces a myopic understanding of culture. It magnifies areas of low importance and blurs out greater problems in the distance. In striving to be productive on a personal level, what’s being left unchecked in our communities?
“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world and then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, who had ever been alive.” —James Baldwin
In this newsletter, I keep coming back to how we divert ourselves and what it tells us about our cultural climate. I don’t intend to criticize any book that inspires someone to read (the podcast If Books Could Kill does this succinctly and far more spiritedly than I ever could). I actually enjoy the occasional business or pop-psychology book. Much like film and television, I think there's an appetite for diverse literary consumption. Both evidence and a sticking point: the widespread successes of Where the Crawdads Sing2 and Colleen Hoover’s books3. From a subjective stance, their popularity is less indicative of their merits and more a reflection of a homogenized marketplace (OH WOW BACK TO FLATTENING TASTES ALREADY). Still, I cannot deny their influence. Consumers are open to fiction. It’s on publishers and retailers to create ecosystems where readers can discover more than one title, subject matter, or author.
Just as importantly, consumers should seek out miscellaneous titles. It’s so hokey I can barely believe I’m speaking it aloud (although I did just admit to using puppetry as a metric for finding love, so). Just as little kids are taught to “eat the rainbow” I think we should READ THE RAINBOW.4 A varied literary diet if you will. Anything that inspires or intrigues. Libraries and independent bookstores are wonderful places to start. Ask for recommendations from your most well-read friends or co-workers.
It feels so table stakes for lifelong readers who come by this approach naturally. Is it even worth an entire newsletter, I wonder. Then I remember the average American reads four books a year and I feel compelled to exert whatever small influence I have to prevent them from all being Malcolm Gladwell titles 🙃 A rhyme to internalize the wisdom: Colorful TBR stack, on the right track. Unsaturated hues, I’ve got the blues!!!
Sidewalk Reporting:
I so badly want to exorcize Barbie Related Content from my neural pathways. I simply like it Too Much, I fear I soon won’t be able to converse about anything BUT Greta Gerwig’s masterpiece. However, I spotted this pink Moke on my evening walk and I have so many questions. Is it the Moke marketing team capitalizing on the film’s release? Did someone custom order it? Were they already a Barbie enthusiast or did this summer’s Barbie Bonanza unlock something deep inside?? Apologies in advance for the next Sidewalk Report where I track down this person for an interview (Le joke. (Mostly.))
This question was more challenging to riddle out a few years ago—tough to not be ego-centric in your 20s and over-index on like-minded writers who help make sense of your identity and validate your lived experiences
A book that, I’m sorry to say and withholding judgement, I just Do Not Get the Hype
Ditto
I couldn’t find evidence that this was the meaning behind “Reading Rainbow” but, like, it should have been???? Co-creator Twila Liggett: “The name came from knowing that kids like alliteration and that we wanted to have ‘reading’ in the title.” I honestly admire that everything pre-dating the internet could just happen without being steeped in Deeper Meaning or Consistent Brand Messaging. Or maybe that was just the vibe of public broadcasting in the 80s idk idk